Every body is going trough this world alone, in fact we have no one else that ourselves. sometimes you may think that finally this time is behind you, then you realize that nothing have changed. No matter how much people are around us, we all feel misunderstood and we all wish that one day someone will deeply understand us.
Loneliness is a feeling we all have and most of all, we live it throughout our lives. We can be surrounded by hundreds of peoples it doesn’t change that, deep down we are alone. Often people get close to you only to fill their own loneliness.
They look at you but don’t see you,
they talk to you but don’t listen to you,
they ask you to understand them without even making the effort to try to understand you,
they invite you to share your life, without the desire to share theirs with you.
It’s simply human nature. When we give our 100% to an other person they rarely do the same. Often is by been afraid that no matter what they do, they will find themselves alone once again. At some point we can think that we are getting free from this feeling and then it comes back to us a little stronger. We lose someone whom meant everything to us, or realize that those we thought were there for us are no longer around. Over the time we break connections, we were convinced that they would being for life, at times, the bond is so strong that we come to believe that nothing in the world can break them. Then we evolve, we change our ways of thinking and the time separate us. When we get to realize it, is often too late. There is nothing more we can do about it, the pain is so devious, it settles in us without warning us. The more time passes the more we feel it.
If you live in a big city, you know how empty a large crowd can make it seem. Everyone is in their own world, living their life and thinking about themselves. We all experience the same thing and because we don’t feel good with our own loneliness we make others feel it too. Have you ever been alone in a restaurant and the waiter is staring at you because you are not accompanied and he is passing you a remark like “Our pizza is way too big for one person” as if you cannot bring some at home. Or maybe you got to a bar to take a drink to relax in your own company. Often you don’t even have the chance to order your drink that someone come to talk to you saying “what is a beautiful young woman are doing here on her own? ” You tell them that you would rather be alone but they don’t understand that this feeling of loneliness is sweeter being alone at the bar than with strangers who make you feel strange, different and much more alone. As Robin Williams says, “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone. ” Feeling alone is worse than being alone.
The only way to fight this feeling is to learn to live with ourselves as with a companion. To love yourself in a way that no one else can and to be satisfied with your own love. For that you have to learn to understand yourself, learn to respect your own choices and especially learn to be strong. Life tests us over and over and it takes courage to make our own decisions and do what is right for us. By working on it we take the risk of being hurt many times, but by not doing it, we take the risk of endless suffering and one day waking up to a life you never wanted. In the end we are alone so why not do what our heart desires? No matter what we do, someone will be offended or désapprouve it. We need to align with ourselves because we need to love ourselves. Get to know what make you happy and do it. In fact you don’t need others, you want to be with them is different. You need to put yourself first, have fun in your own. It can be easiest that you think.
What make us desire to be with other is the need of communication, if you succeed to find a way to speak your mind by your own you learn to feel better alone. It can be by writing, making video, painting, starting a business or what ever is a form of expression. Then you get to know that speaking to other is not the only way, you start by enjoying your companionship and you realize that by expressing yourself in that way ,you built a connection with yourself and it’s attract people whom have the same interests that you and sometime find themselves in you.
With love Sophie xx