In order to become the person you want to be you have to accept the one you were and love the one you are.
Each of us wants to be a good person and that, at some point, make us to lie to ourselves. We have to look at ourselves as we are, with our light and our shadow. We all have a darker side and it’s important to be aware of that and learn to love it. By saying this, I mean appreciating our mistakes and love your scars. Being kind to ourselves is essential. It might sound like a big deal, but the truth is, being a good person isn’t easy, it takes honesty and courage. Accepting ourselves as we are is one of the greatest strengths a man / woman can have.
Over the past few years I’ve learned that most all of us don’t even know ourselves. Nowhere we learn that we have to look into ourselves for find the answers we look for. If I look at myself years ago I was completely lost and I didn’t know where to start. So I opened books and educated myself. I begin to look deep into myself , my past and trough my childhood to find answers. Why did I was who I was? Why did I thought that way? What do my parents did or didn’t, that have affect my whole life? What kind of believe that didn’t belonged to me have been put in my head by my parents, teachers and even by the society? Then, what I truly wanted to be? What is this person’s state of mind? How do I start to become that person? Of course is a lot of question, and there is lot more, but by looking at them I discovered myself. I get to know who I am, where I am from and who I want to become. Some times I failed, I didn’t see my way correctly and take the wrong one. Then I saw where I should be and I moved into the right path. It’s not guaranteed to work at the first time but if at each step you take the time to observe yourself you will see the way who’s made for you. Things will begin to work. It’s not gonna be simple but your futur will be easier. Life is better when is lived in the full conscience.
You can lie to every one, you can even lie to yourself but at some point you will have to be truthful with yourself. You can blame others for your mistakes but the truth is that all come from you. You did attract the life you have. Everything you live, you created it. Yes, it can be hurtful to hear that, for me it was. I didn’t had the best life and it was my fault. I realize my way of talking about myself was putting me down. I continually said things like, I’m not lucky, I’m messy, why something fucked up always happen to me? I attracted exactly that in my life. Then I started changing the ways I spoke about myself, (Some can say it’s to be humble enough for laugh of ourselves, but is not, is wrong) I also asked to the people who surround me to stop saying those things too. Afterwards I saw it was possible. Possible to change how I saw myself, it was still me nothing had changed unless everything. I am grateful to the girl I was, the one who didn’t care about noting, the one joked about ourself cause is this girl who had enough courage for stop to victimize herself and decide look for solutions to become better. Since then, I haven’t stopped improving myself and looking inside me to find the solutions that will make my life a masterpiece.
Learning to love our shadow is accepting each version of our self, our good shot as our big mistakes. Is to look our inner-child and to show him that he is safe, is also looking our own demons in the eye and facing them taking control over them and change to become the one you want to be and welcome it.
Don’t be scare of what you can discover, in the end it’s all yourself. You shouldn’t hide it neither to yourself nor to anyone. Embrace each part of your personality the good as the bad. Learn to manage them and grow with. Go see in the deepest of yourself and feel the texture of your soul. You don’t have to feel ashamed of your shadow, you should see it as an old partner that can help you do find the light.
Be kind with yourself and express your truth.