When darkness is the only thing you see, look inside of you, you will find light. It will show you the way.
After a year pass under the sun, where there was freedom, I have been able to connect with myself. I will be forever grateful for that experience that learned me what kind of life is made for me. This years I learned to have faith in life, there is always hope even when all is going wrong. 2021 is crazy and empty for a lot of us but I had the opportunity to see it trough other eyes. I saw the awakening of people, I talked with some persons who want to make a difference and help other to live a greater life. I have been witnessed of thousand different way of thinking and the teaching that this brought me have change me for ever.
Now I am back in darkness, back to the life I had.
My soul is shaking, I am on choke !
How can I come from a place that is completely out of alignment with me?
It make me understand a lot about myself, about my desire of rebellion my need to scream, it was my soul who need something different.
I have been gone 10 months and it’s like I had go in a weekend, I came back and nothing changed. All is in the same place. People haven’t move, evolve or learn anything. I know there was a big lock down but when everyone was waiting home, I was living my best life. I will never wait after someone to tell me if I can live my live, as I want. In my eyes is truly sad that an entire society did it.
It’s hard for me to be back and to realize that there is noting for me home. I know we are a lot to feels that way. To be hit by the old mentality that limited you to think differently (and just realize where that came from), the bad habits that come back faster than expected and the pressure cause by the image people have of you. (They see you as you was years ago… they don’t understand that they are talking to a totally difference person).
In nature when animals have babys, they grow up and leave forever. As a human, we stay close to our parents and try to evolve with them. Sometimes for access to our true potential we sadly have to leave and learn to be ourselves alone without landmark, only our guts to guide us. We have to let it go on the persons we love and do our own way without looking back. Isn’t always easy. It hurt, but in my eyes better been hurt, than be stopped from living you truth.
For me now is official, I have noting to do in Montreal. I am grateful to be back cause it have help me to understand a lot about myself and it also give me the certainty that isn’t here I should be. Well for truly evolve without restriction I have to be far away from what I know. I look at around and I see the mind of the society close on one way of thinking and the desire to make everything so complicated only for been right, I also see the materialistic culture that keep you in a state of mind of lack. All what I am fighting against in myself. (The desire to be right and the need of material). Back in Canada I looked around and it seems like for must of all, it’s the only way to life a good life… I choose to live my life in a totally different way. I believe having a good life is not about to have the biggest house and the newest car but about the diversity of your experiences, the intensity of your love, the quality of the person’s who cross your way and the happiness it’s coming from your heart. I want a life full of colours, lights and amazing people. I what to live in many cities and enjoy the differences of it. That is what open my mind to new things and push me to keep learning and stop judging. I want to be inspired by the people who is around me not feel like everybody have the same kind of life that make me (personally) feel like a wast of time.
My home was in Mexico and until now is the only place I ever felt like home. This place allow me to expand and become the woman I meant to be.
The feeling to don’t fit in, the desire of escape are things I hold in my heart since the further I remembered. There is no place for that anymore. I want to feel inspiring and embody my difference as the key to a better future.
I don’t have to explain myself to the people who don’t understand the way I choose to live my life. But I want to show that there is always an other way that the one the society dict you. I want to show it to you, cause at a point of my life I needed someone to tell me that I can do whatever I want with my life. There is no limit, unless the one you fix yourself!
Soon I will return to my life, the one I choose. I will have much more knowledge of myself and I will be able to create a life that fits me. For now I will swallow my pride and go trough what I have to, for reach a new level.
Evolving is like sailing in a rough sea, never forget that one day the storm stops and the sun come back.
With love, Sophie. xx