About to conquer myself!

About to conquer myself!

It’s take me couple of years of experimenting for get to know myself. At some point of my life, I thought I knew who I was but I was far from it. So I kept looking at myself, analyzing myself over and over to finally find out what makes me happy, what makes me stronger and above all what makes the best version of myself. Now I am 25, and I have already done a big part of the road, but I still have a long way to do. I do enjoy every moment of it.

With the life I lived, I have learn to appreciate the good things, as well as the bad things, to live the emotions to their fullest. Some people tell me it’s too much, that I should feel less, I want to tell them to take a big breath and feel it, maybe that way they can learn something. When I was younger I was constantly in rebellion over everything. Someone with closed mind and if I believed in something nobody and nothing could change it but me. I lived pain, rage, joys to an extreme intensity. Fortunately I learned to ride those emotions with kindness, I learned to open my mind to see what was going on around me, to take the opinions of others, to analyze them and make my own opinion.

I started reading books, books that have change me, books that made me see life in a whole different way. There is some exemples.

  • The 4 agreements, Miguel Riez
  • The master of love, Miguel Ruiz
  • Principle, Ray Dalio
  • 12 rules for life, Jordan Peterson

So I decided to travel alone and for a person who was not very open to others it brought me the best gift. So traveling by myself was the best thing I ever did. I learned to open my mind, talk to others, speak another language,  trust myself better and to rely in no other one than myself. It’s an experience that I recommend to everyone.

On my way I met an extraordinary man whose spirit I admire. This man has helped me a lot in my development since I have been with him. I live another life, a life that I love. I realize, however, that today I think more often about him than me. I imagine that’s what happens when you fall in love.  Now I have to reprogram myself so I don’t forget me along the way, it will never be heard enough so I will say it again. YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN YOUR LIFE. WHATEVER HAPPEN THE ONLY PERSON WITH WHO YOU WILL LIVE EVERY MOMENT OF YOUR EXISTENCE IS YOU AND NOBODY ELSE. So I owe to myself to take time to listen the music I love as much as possible, to let me go, to take care of my body and my spirit, to start back to put on makeup, to take as many pictures as I can, to be romantic and to enjoy every moment of every day that God makes.

I am currently at the start of a new adventure, I just moved to San Cristobal De Las Casas, Chiapas, Mexico with my boyfriend. Life here is not what I have always known, well almost all is different, but I can swear that I love it. I’m a woman in love in a new city that is actually 500 year old. I consider myself lucky to have the opportunity to live this experience and to be able to evolve in a new environment.

My primary goal in life is to become the woman I always wanted to be and I truly believe that I need to work harder to get there as quickly as possible. Every minute I live  make myself more free and the taste of this feeling makes me want to feel it more and more.

Love is a funny thing, it makes you experience the most beautiful moment of your life, transports you to places you would never have imagine, makes you appreciate another person’s faults, (which in my opinion is completely crazy). It’s a wonderful thing to experience. This does not mean that it is always easy, sometimes we almost lost the breath in the way, we believe that nothing will be able to continue but something happens every time and love overcomes anger, jealousy, sadness, frustration and the road continues. To me love is magic.

I’m a lonely person and since I’m in a relationship I’m almost never alone, sometimes I don’t know how to deal with. It’s a challenge for me to spend most of my time with someone, even though I love that person with all my heart. During the last 24 years of my life I was almost always alone and never complained about it. Today I’ve been with my lover for a year, you understand that things have change, that inside me it’s happening a lot of things consciously and unconsciously. I’m start to realize that time for me, to be alone with myself is something I miss. That giving us a little space may be what will bring us even closer, because spending time with yourself helps you to enjoy the company of others and mostly clean your mind of any bad vibes.

I am currently sitting in a magnificent small restaurant made of wood, surrounded by thousands of plants in the middle of the mountains of Chiapas, enjoying a good coffee. When I arrived I was not doing very well, I was resentful, I put music in my ear and started to write and I can promise you that now I am doing better. That this little evening with myself have purify my energy and that at this moment I am happy and feel exited to come home and kiss my man.

Sophie xx

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